Depression. Majority of people that don’t suffer with depression don’t seem understand the effects it can have on someone’s mental and emotional state. They attempt to suggest ways to not be depressed as if it were that easy. Little do they know, depression has nothing to do with happiness. You can have a bomb career, be healthy, be in a loving relationship, your family can be doing great yet you still feel a sense of dread and hopelessness. As someone who suffers from depression, I know this all too well. When my imbalances are at an all time high, I have negative thoughts; by negative thoughts, I mean I think the worst about myself and about killing myself. Quite frankly, I think about ending it all a couple of times a month. Though some months are better than others. Actually, suicidal thoughts are a lot more common than we would like to admit. I’m certain a handful of you reading this have dabbled with suicide and may have even attempted it. We have our individual reason why the thoughts would cross our minds and why we haven’t done the deed; whether it’s the fear of damnation or the thought of a loved one discovering you in such a state and how the sight would affect them forever. Even in our suffering, we tend to consider others before ourselves.
At my lowest is when I consider going through with the act. Beside taking my family into consideration, I think about my soul. Will I go to hell if I decide to kill myself? In a previous post we discussed how sin is sin and that each is weighed differently. We’ve been told that the ultimate sin is suicide as we were given life and it’s not our place to take it away. The bible discusses suicide a little bit but there isn’t any evidence that it’s an unforgivable sin. The only sin that seemed to be unforgivable was that of denying Jesus. For those that know someone who has committed suicide may fear their loved one is condemned or damned. Now I’m not advocating or condoning suicide, just providing a different outlook on such a taboo topic.
Recently, I read an article about suicide which stated people fear for the souls of their loved ones who committed suicide as it’s a sin. Like any sin, one should repent and work toward living in Jesus image. But how could they repent for said sin if they are dead? The article points out a valid point, though that is true, people die everyday with sins they never repented for, so how is suicide any different?
I know the Godly advice is to tell you to accept Jesus into your heart and let Him work in you but in reality, it’s not enough to save you. We need something more tangible to deal with these unrelenting thoughts in addition to Christ’s love. The dreaded “T” is necessary: Therapy. It’s understandable why you may feel like therapy just isn’t an option for you. The thought of telling a complete stranger you’re thoughts and deepest secrets can be uncomfortable and intimidating but that unbiased, neutral opinion is needed. From there, you’ll gain the tools to work through depression and negative thoughts. We must do everything we can to stay alive. We can’t allow our weariness, dread, fear, unworthiness, loneliness and whatever else to win. Life is worth living. You are worth fighting for.
Something to think about…
- What are the roots of your suicidal/negative thoughts?
- How do you counter these thoughts?