Lord where is my husband?! I’m ready to build this life, be (somewhat) grounded, etc. Though I’m still not seriously dating, I do go on the occasional outing with a male suitor. See, there’s this one guy I grew up with and we dabble with one another every blue moon. He’s the three F’s: fun, funny, and fine but we could never seem to advance our friendship beyond a casual fling. A few days ago we were having a candid convo about why we can’t seem to ever get it right. He appeared as though he had something really profound to say but opted out. In a playful manner, I assured him this was a safe place to speak his mind. With some thought and hesitation, he said “that’s the thing, you’re not a safe place.” It got real. I…was…shook. I asked him to elaborate. Said guy told me I’m not the most “caring, hear my problem” type. My initial reaction was offense, because duh I’m human. I took a moment to soak it all in and you know what, he was right. Now my friends and family know that is far from the truth. I am always a listening ear and shoulder to cry on but but when it comes to romantic situations, I’m none of that. Since my previous relationship, I tend to close myself off emotionally. I can be cold, I don’t divulge too much about myself and I always keep things casual. Then the light bulb moment came: maybe we should reflect on how some people perceive us and why we exhibit such behaviors. We think we’re one way but other perceive us in another.
Sometimes listening to those not so close to us, gives us a better perspective on the energy we give. Think about the saying “first impressions are everything”. In a friendly or work situation I’ve been told their first impression of me was warm, welcoming and witty. In contrast, and with men especially, the first impression is cold and standoffish. That’s probably why the Lord won’t give me my husband right now; I don’t think I’ve given myself the time and space to really heal from my previous relationship. In my current season, I’ll probably chase him away with my lack of emotion and affection.
Ironically, today my bible push notifications alerted me of the verse of the day which is: Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
The time now is to be still, heal, and become a safe place.
Something to think about…
- Are you a “safe place”?
- How do people perceive you?
- Is it accurate/reflective of who you really are?
- Have you reflected on what people say about you?
- Are you embracing the current season you’re in?